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Is breaking up an over reaction?

I've asked this question earlier but didn't get many answers so I'm asking it again (sorry for the repeat) I'm 22 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for three years. We're both doing the same Masters course at university and he's applied to do a PhD at our university next year, whilst I train to be a teacher in the same area. We had plans to live together whilst he does his PhD and marry at the end of it. (I'd be 26 years old then.) We were thinking about which area of town to rent in before his father decided to buy a two bed-roomed house for him (and me) to live in but because it's in an area of town I really really don't want to live in, I said I wouldn't be living there. His dad bought it anyway because it was at a good price and my boyfriend is going to live there because it'll be rent free or nearly rent free so he'll be able to save lots. He said he's doing this for our future (to save money) and if I really refuse live there then our plans will have only been set back by a few years because he'll move out after he graduates. However, because my opinions on the subject were completely dismissed and now we would have to wait another three years before moving in together (having been together three years already), I decided to walk away from the relationship a few weeks ago, especially as I just can't stand his controlling father now. I really want him to do this PhD and would always support him in it, but where to live during it is a whole different issue. The house that has ben bought is in a really bad area but both he and his father don't seem to care about crime rates. As I'm local to the area and he's not, I thought he would value my opinion and look elsewhere. The reason why I finished it is that his Dad bought a place for him and me but I had zero say in the location. But I miss my (ex)boyfriend sometimes and he says he wants to patch things up. My friends say whilst I shouldn't live in that area, I'm overreacting and I should see how things go over the next three years. Am I over reacting? I certainly cannot live in that house. For many reasons, for instance, a thug who attacked my brother has just been released from prison and is living on the same road. But, we could carry on living separately for a few more years, but there are no guarantees he will want to move. He says he will but the allure of a free house may be too much.

Public Comments

1. Let it be and move on. Your boyfriend isn't considering your feelings.
2. I would say its probably a good thing you left if hes fathers controlling most likely he will be, if he loved you he would under stand whey you don't want to live there. just keep your chin up:)
3. i dont doubt that he will want to move in three years. you have nothing to worry about there. he'll probably wanna move after the first year. really. he wont want to stay. you shouldnt throw away your seemingly great relationship because of living situation though. maybe just dont live with him for now. as things graduate, you will decide if it is worth moving in or not. not living together right now is not the end of the world. patch things up.
4. If moving to this area is that big of a deal to you, don't do it! I don't think you should have broken up with him though. It's not his fault that his dad bought the house, and you can't blame him for wanting to live for nearly free. My bf bought a house about an hour away from me, and now he can't sell it, so I see where you're coming from with the whole, 'we should be living together' thing. If he means that much to you, don't throw it away on something so small. In a couple years when you two are ready to move together, he might not want to move out of a free home, but he needs to make the decision to sacrifice something for you, like you're doing for him right now.
5. ~ I think you are over reacting and he is doing the smart thing here. He is living in a FREE house and saving on rent so that you to can have a better future together. You dumped him for not letting you have a say in where the house was. He was thinking FREE house sounds good. You are thinking I want a FREE house but only where I want it. Kinda selfish if you ask me, ~
6. i guess i could see your resistance to live in an area that houses an attacker of your family member. cant the two of you live separately and still date and wait till your done with school to live together? if that is all it took to separate you from someone you loved, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship altogether. marriage is a commitment for better....or worse.
7. Your boyfriend put his father's opinion above yours. You were smart to walk away. My husband puts his parents' opinion above mine and will talk things over with them and has been doing this our entire marriage. If I had known this before we got married I wouldn't have married him. Your boyfriend needs to get his priorities straight before continuing in the relationship.
8. tell him "its me or that house" i dont think your overreacting but im only 16.