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I am being too clingy to my boyfriend? Or am I just right?

I am 18 years old and so is my boyfriend and I have been going out over a year now, the relationship started out great, we went to near by schools and seen each other quite regularly and texted and phoned with cute messages. He used to take me out to the cinema and restaurants etc. and pay for me. However, now that he has went to university it has completely changed (I am still at school my last year). He ignores my texts, and when I ask him to call he’s “out parting”. One particular month, I had a massive argument with my friends, so I felt so alone and angry. Then I went on facebook to look at his page because I missed him and wanted to look at his picture, I saw him in a picture with his arms around another girl. It was innocent... But I just saw red... and started to cry... and I told him (while crying my eyes out of course) and he told me basically to wise up; that just because he didn’t text as much and goes out more doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me and the girl is just a friend of his and that I also have friends who are boys. So that was alright, he said he was sorry that he was ignoring me and he would pay more attention. The next week past and he saw me at the week end (Valentines weekend). again he had been ignoring me so I told him... and he admitted he was a shit boyfriend and that he doesn’t pay enough attention because sometimes he just bees lazy and couldn’t be bothered and he felt awful and I told him that I didn’t want to tell him these things because I knew it would hurt him, and I hate seeing him sad. And he told me that I was far too nice, and I shouldn’t be sticking up for him, and that he would defiantly try harder this time. So that was alright I forgave him. He took me to his flat were he lives with different people 3 girls – 4 boys and himself in university. The whole time I had to spend time with these people feeling awkward and we couldn’t do anything “couplely”; so much for a valentines weekend. I also wanted to stay another night but he basically hinted that he did not want me there so I went home this whole week I have been off school (mid term break) and he is texting me but it’s very brief, and when I texted “I love you” a few times he wouldn’t respond.. Until I sent a sad face then he said it. I sent him a really cute message tonight, but no response, but I do know it’s his mates’ birthday. I feel used as I run him around in my car, to his house, football training, buy him loads of stuff, and do romantic things; like for valentines’ day I got him a game he wanted, DVDs, a card, loads of cute stuff, sweeties I even made him a slide show with our song in the background... I took time and really thought about it. All he got me was socks and a DVD, not even wrapped up no card; Nothing. Still in the bags he bought them in, with the prices still on. I know university is expensive and that’s why I pay my own way in cinemas restaurants and stuff... but he could have saved his money by not going out so blooming much to get me a card for valentines’ day. I feel like he has no time for me; that I just fit in his life when it suits him. Can any on help me and tell me what to do. I am not going t break up with him. He is a really nice man and I love him, I am just going though a tough time lately with all this and need advice.

Public Comments

  1. I'm not going to read that huge wall of text, but if you have to ask if you're being too clingy, then the answer is undoubtedly yes.
  2. If you used more punctuation and separated your question with paragraphs I might have read it and been able to give you some advice... might have.
  3. I actually read your description and I don't think your too clingy. He seems to keep breaking his promise of trying harder. He shouldn't be completely ignoring you.
  4. You need to make your feelings very clear to him....and if he can't meet you half way with what you want out the relationship, then there is no need for you to go on hurting like that...it sounds to me that he is intentionally pushing you away so you'll be the one to end the relationship instead of him... I think you really need to sit down and think about what you have in your relationship and whether or not it's worth the long distance...especially if you are giving and giving and giving, and he isn't giving back...
  5. Hang out with some of ur friends and just get used to the fact that you guys are slowly out growing each other. If he's coming to you only when its conviente then what kind of relationship is that?
  6. i pretty much go through the same thing myself with my girlfriend, and when she ignores me she makes up an excuse and makes me feel kind of stupid for been upset over it. i think he should be paying a bit more attention to you i mean fair enough hes busy but how hard can it be to simply send back " i love you too " it takes 1 minute. you have already said it to him before so he should be getting better not worse. he put no effort at all into your valentines present i think he might be taking you for granted, maybe try tell him how you feel again and if he doesn't change this time maybe you should consider taking a break. i don't think you are being clingy you are just craving the attention you deserve. going to university is a whole new life for him maybe he just needs time to adjust and then he will be back to normal? if you really belives that he does love you then you should tell him again how you feel. good luck.
  7. Life has changed for the both of you; he's hit the big league, and you are left behind and ignored. He sees you as acting needy, but that's because he is being selfish. No matter how much you love him you have to love yourself more, you can't let anyone treat you badly, ever. Words are cheap, he sounds remorseful, but hasn't back it up with actions. Don't make excuses for his behavior and don't accept it either. What you are doing right now isn't working. You have to give him space, but he has to give you the attention you deserve. Work out with him the times you will call each other. Don't make it every day, but make sure he follows it. And yes, he's got money to go out with his university chums, so stop spending money on him and treating him like he's a little boy. He'll keep on taking it as long as you dish it out. Stop acting like a doormat or sugar mommy. University is expensive, so who's going to be treating you to goodies when you go to University?
  8. not at all! He isn't trying harder and you have every reason to be mad at him!
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