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How do we deal with my brothers?

Okwe are having a bit of a dilema here.My mother is going to be turning 88 this year and so far she has lived longer than anyone in her family. She has some health problems and has been disabled since 1998. My father passed away in 1987 after a long battle with cancer. Since I was the youngest and wasn't married I moved in with my folks after I got out of service and have helped with upkeep and everything on the house and yard and after my dad pawy I made my mom get out and about instead of just staring at four walls all day. Due to severe oseoatheritis in her kness and legs she has been confined to a wheelchair for almost ten years but I put a lift on my van and on my fifthweheell trailer so she could still go with me differant places.A couple ofyears go I was diagnosed with cancer of the Pancreas and Liver and had to take social security disability. Now here is the problem my Mom has a living trust that is set up for the three boys to get the interest of of until we are gone then it goes to the grand children. My mother has decided that since I've stayed with her and taken care of her that I should get a little more out of the estate basically I'd draw 1,000 a month until I die. We know at least one of my brothers is going to pitch a fit over this but he is able to work and has a wife and kids of his own to look aafter him where I don't so do we tell them now or wait till after mother isone to let the cat out of the bag. They will each get a portion of the sale of this house all her personal items and 3 vehicles as well as 100 grand each, so the only thing affected by her decision is the living trust they will get the interst of thir portion where I'll have a minimum amount comming each month. So dowe tell them or wait?

Public Comments

1. Try to tell them now, but don't let your mother hear too much about it. You don't want to treat her as if she's already dead. If you wait until after she dies, though, your brother may accuse you of being sneaky or underhanded. It's best if it's out in the open from the start.
2. As long as your mother is of sound mind, she can do whatever she pleases with her money. If he throws a fit over it, she should just cut him out all together. I would tell him now so he knows what to expect and doesn't drag your through the courts trying to overturn her decision.
3. get all the legal paper work completed as soon as possible to do this. Don't tell them anything about what is being done. If you tell them now it will only serve to cause a great many problems. You have to get the legal paper work done first before you tell them anything otherwise they could create problems legally by challenging you as manipulating your mother. I'm not saying it will happen but the brothers could actually accuse you of criminally manipulating your mother to gain a larger share of the inheritance. It happens everyday in this country dozens of times every day. just get this done using a lawyer and a will being drawn for that living trust, and thus it will save one heck of alot of issues in the future. You've earned a larger share of the estate by virtue of what you have done over the years to assist your parents. I wouldn't sell the house i'd keep that for you too live in until you pass away. Giving the others 100 thousand upon the death of your mother is sufficient. I actually thought you were writing a page out of my life as i've been through very nearly the identical situation.
4. Well I think that you shouldn't tell them until your mother is good and ready to spill the beans. Do they know that you know what everyone is gonna get? Because when it's announced after your mom passes away, you could always just act like you had no idea. But yeah, I think that you should get a little more because you have been there for your mom and have taken her places, and your brothers haven't. You really shouldn't feel guilty about this. You deserve it.
5. i think that is an extremly lovely thing of your mum to do and i think you are a great person for helping her out for all this time. the things you must of stopped doing to look after your mum you deserve a bit extra. i would explain to your mum that you dont know wheather to tell them or not. then let her explain to them surley they are not going to go mad at her. if you dont say anything we she eventually does go (hopefully not for a long time) you can just think of the good times instead of having an on going family fued witch nobody wants. things may be abt tense for a while but eventually they can get over it and every one can move on. hope i have helped you good luck in what ever you choose to do x